Black Van Club - On The Mic
Welcome to "Black Van Club - On The Mic," the podcast that shines a spotlight on the vibrant Black events, talent, and culture in Vancouver, Canada. Join us as we delve into the heart of the city's thriving Black community, uncovering the events, stories, achievements, and unique perspectives that make this culture so rich and diverse.
Tune in to get inspired, informed, and connected with the pulse of Black Vancouverites. Join the conversation and celebrate the vibrant tapestry of Black culture right here, in the heart of one of Canada's most dynamic cities.
Black Van Club - On The Mic
Fanny Kearse
March is recognized as Developmental Disabilities Awareness month. In this episode of Black Van Club - On The Mic, we sit down with the talented poet, multidisciplinary artist, and community tender, Fanny Kearse. Fanny shares insights into their creative journey and their collaboration on “Glimmers”, a powerful docu-series and upcoming live event that explores the healing power of poetry, art, colour, and community. As a Black, queer, Jewish, disabled individual, Fanny’s work emphasizes themes of grief, joy, self-reclamation, and healing, and they discuss the importance of accessibility in creative spaces.
Join us as we dive into Fanny’s artistic process, the challenges of navigating health, identity, and community, and the beauty of collaboration in their creative practice. With special guests like poets Adonis Critter-King and Brandon Wint, and the musical talents of Kinfolk Nation, this episode is a celebration of healing through art and the power of showing up as your authentic self.
Don’t miss Fanny’s upcoming poetry and music show on March 27 at Performance Works on Granville Island!
Check out more information and ticket links on blackvanclub.com - Glimmers Event Link
Follow Fanny on Instagram @fannykearse
Follow us on Instagram @blackvanclub
Alt Text Episode Cover Image:
Fanny Kearse, a Black, queer, Jewish artist, speaking into a microphone at a poetry event. She wears a denim jacket and a white turtleneck, smiling as she engages with the audience.
Podcast Intro
Podcast Outro
Welcome to Black Van Club, a digital platform for Black creatives, events and changemakers shaping culture and community in Vancouver. I'm your host, ruby, and today I'm thrilled to welcome a very special guest to the podcast poet, multidisciplinary artist and community tender, fanny Kearse Kearse Fanny is a Black, queer, jewish disabled human whose work is deeply rooted in themes of grief, joy, self-reclamation and healing. They're also one of the creative forces behind Glimmers, a powerful docuseries, an upcoming live show that explores the healing power of collaboration, art and witnessing. Welcome to the show, fanny. It's a pleasure to have you here.
Speaker 2:It is a pleasure and an honor to be here. Thank you for having me, Ruthie.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I'm excited to have you on. We had a little chit-chat before the viewers could hear and the listeners could hear what we're saying, and I think it's a perfect day to could hear what we're saying, and I think it's a perfect day to introduce yourself to our community. The community in Vancouver is full of creatives, people who have been doing work for many years now, so this is nothing new to you, and you are here to you, know, inform, educate and pass on the knowledge that you have. So thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me and for that beautiful introduction one of the things you said about sharing knowledge and passing on knowledge it's so important to me to be able to do that in community in the ways that it's been done for me, to be able to do that in community in the ways that it's been done for me, and that's that's partly how the whole idea for glimmers, the docu series, started, with my partner and I collab, collaboration and commute and being in community is a really big part of both of our artistic practices, and when we were looking at this grant and trying to come up with an idea for what we, what we would create, I was like well, why don't we, you know, show people what it is that we do? Because so many people ask me questions like about how do you collaborate in good ways and like how does that? How does that happen, that you become connected and create and like grow something together? Because I think it can be hard enough to like create as an individual artist and like find avenues and ways to make that happen.
Speaker 2:And so when you're dealing with multiple different humans with multiple different needs for their bodies and different schedules like even you know, just logistically thinking of that to be together to create, I think it can be hard for some people to conceptualize how that all happens, and it is truly one of my favorite parts of my art practice. So it was really like how can we show this and invite people into it? And that's how Glimmers the idea came to be for the docuseries.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was going to bring it up, but you've brought it up already, so we can just dive right in.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I think for people listening they're like, okay, what is Glimmers? Yes, and who is Fanny? Exactly Because a lot of the times when I post events people may not know or have the background. So for me I'm an individual who's taking the time to research, to go out and meet people and attend events. But for someone who's never heard of you, heard of the project and they're in Vancouver and they're like, hey, I want to see dope cool poets, people Tell them a little bit about Glimmers, what it's about, and just a little bit about, yeah, how it began, I guess, the inception story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely so. Yeah, I mean, glimmers began with my partner and I being like what are we going to?
Speaker 2:write this grant about and that's really how the idea came to be is that we really wanted to show how community and collaboration provides so much good medicine and healing for us within our art practice. I think, being somebody who is disabled, somebody who is marginalized, being in community can be difficult, yes, and so something that I strive to do as a poet, as a host, as a facilitator and a community tender, as a person who hosts and produce events here in Vancouver, event accessibility is really important to me and I think that that's something that's different, that people will see at my events, and that's something that I've learned from my past years of experience being a social worker, when I still lived in Saskatchewan, and then a
Speaker 2:lot of new learnings that I learned when I arrived here in Vancouver. A lot of amazing learnings about accessibility. Actually, through Vines Art Society and specifically through Marcelo Ponce, have really helped shape and form how I believe space can and should be held so that more people are able to be included. And so you know, like little things, like at Glimmers, our poetry music event that's happening on March 27th. I'm really excited that we're able to offer ASL interpretation and the venue is fully wheelchair accessible, with gender neutral washrooms.
Speaker 2:So Glimmers this idea came to conception with my partner and I, and it's kind of a two-part thing, because Glimmers is a docu-series that follows for, uh, bipoc, disabled artists here in vancouver, um through interview. We interview each artist and then it is also following eat us as we're getting ready for this live poetry music show. So the docu-series is like a show within a show. So the docu-series um show version of glimmers will be released later this summer, sometime in july, and then yeah, yeah, it's so exciting and then the live poetry music show will be on march 27th, um coming up here on performance works at granville island.
Speaker 1:It's amazing I I didn't realize that it was actually. It's almost like you're saying a show within a show, we're part of the process. You're part of the process I guess, if you are attending you, I guess you will be in the docu-series you will.
Speaker 2:You'll be in the final episode yeah, yeah, no.
Speaker 1:well, that's amazing that you made it that way. It's very interactive and also documenting the journey. I think that's important For me. I think finding that information and also that community and then you releasing it in this docuseries is important to have that information archived and brought to light, because I find that sometimes with events and community in Vancouver, it sometimes can be a one-off thing and it's hard to sustain or document some of the stuff. And I think you touched on some good points in terms of accessibility. So, in terms of people with disabilities, people with illnesses, you know, people who identify, you know, differently in the LGBTQIA, non-binary communities, I think, and Black community, you know it's hard to find space and I think what you're doing and the collective storytelling, poetry and art that you're creating is very important to the city.
Speaker 2:Oh thank you so much. You've been doing it a long long time.
Speaker 1:You mentioned that you created this with your co-creator. Q yes, yes, and that is your partner as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, Q.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Q is my partner, my co-creator, at Life and at Art. We like to say so. How is that working?
Speaker 1:together, Because I mean, yeah, that can be interesting as well being, you know, a lover and collaborators.
Speaker 2:That was so sweet. The way that you asked that, Ruby, that was so sweet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know. I know because you know I'm in a relationship too, so I can imagine trying to work with my significant other. So you know it brings a different perspective. I can imagine. Yeah, I think challenges too, I'm sure yeah, and I think that's just it.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's there, it's so beautiful and also sometimes it's challenging. I think that that it potentially, at least for us, can make the highs higher and the lows lower as we're riding it together, and also there's just no human on this earth that I trust more deeply or implicitly than Q, more deeply or implicitly than Q, and, and coming from that place of trust and reciprocity is really how we're holding the whole project and creating. So I think in many, many ways it's deepening and strengthening our relationship. It's also for me personally, um, just to be totally honest and vulnerable.
Speaker 2:It's brought up a lot of insecurities for me that I I was really surprised at. Actually, um, just watch, you know. So q is more somebody who's behind the scenes. Q is a photographer and a documentarian of beautiful things there. They just have a beautiful eye and they've been learning so much throughout this process. They were getting into video before we got the grant, but this has really been, you know, a baptism by fire of like learning more skills and just like rapidly, just taking on so much knowledge I can relate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can relate for sure. You're doing it all and so watching them just develop not only develop so many skills, but refine so many skills and get really flipping good at it, like you know where they're already good and just like it's blowing my mind, I have so much just pride and joy and admiration and excitement for them. And also there was, like you know, it brought out like the little small parts of me of like, am I doing enough for this project? And then, in other ways, do I have enough skills?
Speaker 1:And am.
Speaker 2:I creative enough, can I keep up and all of these things. So it's just bringing so much to the surface.
Speaker 1:You're preaching to the choir, because I think I can relate to that as well the themes of questioning yourself as you are working through a project. Obviously, mine is in a different regard in terms to media blogging events, but it's something that's new to me. I don't do this. This is not my full-time job, it's something I learned. I just it was a passion and, you know, sometimes you question yourself. Maybe you're in a room with people and you're like, okay, am I doing it right? And then I kind of have to remind myself that, hey, I'm. This is part of the journey. You know, I'm not an expert Nobody's born an expert and it takes a lot to dig in and hone that insecurity and learn from others as well, like saying, hey, this is not my strong suit, but this is someone else's strong point, or this is what they bring and this is what I bring, and together we're making magic and being collaborative. So I think that's beautiful, that you and your partner can work together collaboratively and create something that has come from the both of you. I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really. It's like in so many ways it feels like you know, a proverbial baby, so to speak, like where you know we're, we're kind of gestating this thing and have been quietly, you know, working on things, and now it's like we're letting it out in the open and inviting, inviting people in.
Speaker 1:So that's really exciting it's a good metaphor thank you the poet coming out there she is yeah, and I can't believe I also forgot to mention.
Speaker 2:I just have to say that the other artists involved um in the docu-series project are Adonis Critter King and Brandon Wendt, two other black brilliant poets in Vancouver.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was my next question and it was going to be like with Adonis.
Speaker 2:I've met them as well.
Speaker 1:And Brandon, I don't think I have yet I'm not sure if I have.
Speaker 2:I hope you can come on the 27th and meet Brandon. He's just, he's fantastic, he's a stunning human being.
Speaker 1:I have seen their work online. But, what drew you? That was the question. What drew you to these collaborators? How has working with them helped shape this project and move it forward?
Speaker 2:I guess, as individuals you can start.
Speaker 1:I guess individuals yeah you can start, I guess, with Adonis, and then we can go on to Brandon okay, perfect.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's such a beautiful question, um, I so I'll just like, and I'll say this first initially, I think Q and I had thought that maybe we would include more artists in the project. We had like initially had just like a slightly different idea, which I think I'm not going to share because, stay tuned, stay tuned.
Speaker 2:I think things might still happen with that in the future, that in the future, yeah, um, and so yeah, as like. And when we got the grant, when we were just like thinking about things and how, how are we actually going to make it work, the idea did shift a little bit because I was like, okay, we need to shift things, you know, like what I know, what we know is how to put on a poetry show so like you know.
Speaker 2:And so then it shifted a little bit to like what artists we're gonna ask and what artists we're gonna, we're gonna include, and adonis is somebody who I am a huge fan of yeah, they're fantastic, they're just they're.
Speaker 2:They're a fantastic poet, they're an amazing human being. Uh, the way that their brain just plays in this Afro surrealist realm, it's, it's just, it's beautiful. I'm so drawn to it. And you know it's, it's actually a story that gets gets told in the docuseries, but Adonis and I met through facilitating, through Vancouver Poetry House, so we were just. You know, I had never met Adonis and we were just standing in a gym full of students and you know, I don't even know if we'd introduced ourselves before.
Speaker 2:I saw Adonis perform their poem and this poem that they performed, it just ripped me open, you know and there was this one line where they're talking about the moon and they howled and they made a big howl and all of the kids and myself are just howling back in the gym and it was just so beautiful and, yeah, I mean I fell in love with them then. And then a couple years ago, adonis and I, sort of like on a whim, we collaborated on a poem called A Love Letter to Black Joy and we we had such an amazing chemistry just like working back and forth on this poem. It was just. It just felt so good.
Speaker 1:That's a powerful title.
Speaker 2:And yeah, we, I mean Brandon. Very similarly, the first time that I met Brandon was actually the first birthday party I had when I moved to Vancouver, and I hardly I hardly knew anyone.
Speaker 2:I hardly knew anyone and somebody I had also known from Vancouver Poetry House brought Brandon to that birthday party. And in my living room of all places was the first time I heard Brandon Wint, brandon Wint's poetry, and yeah, it just also broke my heart open. And then Q, similarly, has had some really beautiful creative opportunities with Brandon. They've done some photography shoots together that are just stunning and Brandon, you know, sees in Q what I see in Q too, in this way creatively. And Brandon has had actually asked Q to collaborate on some videos and it just like didn't align with Q's school schedule and health schedule and not health schedule pardon, pardon me just with Q's health and their school schedule.
Speaker 2:When Brandon had asked um. And then, yeah, when this opportunity came up, q was like I, you know, I think we've got to ask Brandon and I was like, absolutely, and it's just been. It's been such a beautiful, harmonious process. The, the four of us, um, spending time together has been a beautiful dynamic. Getting to know each other in these different and deepening ways has been beautiful. We've all had different little health flares also throughout the process. So supporting each other within this BIPOC disability community has been deeply, deeply, deeply nourishing. And then I also have to, of course, mention that the poster art was created by another fabulous um black trans person.
Speaker 2:Nike king created our beautiful, beautiful poster poster art and definitely check their art out. It's so cool.
Speaker 1:They're a beautiful visual artist yeah, I mean you can definitely check it out For people listening. You can check it out on Fanny's page. I will link it. They post the most artistic, beautiful you know pieces and artwork and cover work, so I'll definitely link it in the episode. But yeah no thank you for breaking down those two artists. But, yeah, no, thank you for breaking down um those two artists. So if you're coming, you're definitely going to be introduced to some amazing amazing artists, creators and poets at this show.
Speaker 2:So I think yeah, sorry, I just also wanted to mention maybe the musicians supporting us throughout the show are also. Yeah, they're amazing. Um josh, yeah, kinfolk nation is.
Speaker 1:They're my family I love, I love. You know I'm obsessed with one of their songs. I have it on my playlist the vancouver's finest playlist um I forgot the title of it, but is it something beautiful? Yes, yes oh my god, the harmony, yeah it's just so beautiful, but also haunting in a way yeah, and just it's my lullaby.
Speaker 2:I listened to it so it was in my yeah my top five most played song.
Speaker 1:It almost kind of reminds me of an african spiritual because I'm african, yeah, it has that? The harmonies kind of remind me of those vocal choirs that they have.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, trophy is from rwanda and diaz from ghana. Oh okay, yeah that's good.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can hear the african influence, the drum, the harmonies the acoustic um sound that they have on that song. It's it's amazing, it's quite a long song, but you know what it's.
Speaker 2:It's just I play it all throughout 10 minutes of it, oh yeah, and it's just so soothing it's so soothing and it's it's such a great like little meditation, it's like, yes, it's like a reset, you know yeah, so I would.
Speaker 1:I mean that's amazing. I've never seen them live, but I can imagine that type of energy in the room. Um, that would be incredible to experience so yeah, if you're interested, you can um listen to them. On my vancouver's finest playlist you can find kinfolk nation song on. There's something beautiful, so check it out before you come to the show everybody yes, please, but um, I think I'll just double back. I guess you were talking about holding space in Vancouver's creative community as a.
Speaker 1:Black queer disabled artist right. So I guess for me my question would be what has been your experience, I guess, in terms of finding that community I know you mentioned earlier you moved from. I can't remember you said Regina. Regina.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:To Vancouver. I think that's a very common experience. A lot of people are transplants. They're not from here I'm not from here originally and finding that community and navigating it in terms of creative, the creative community and the poetry community. How difficult was it to find people? I know you narrated it.
Speaker 1:The story is how you met Adonis and how you met Brandon, but on a personal level, I guess, for someone who's also, who was in your shoes, maybe they're currently in that situation right now and they're saying how can I connect with Fanny and all these amazing people? I identify with what they're saying and I want to be part of it and connect with these amazing, beautiful people and hold space and maybe create as well. What can you just say to that individual?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, say to that individual, yeah, I think especially to an individual who's new to Vancouver and looking to build community, like, hang in there, hang in there.
Speaker 2:You know, I am divinely, divinely blessed that I have found and collected and attracted the folks that I have since I've got here.
Speaker 2:And just the one thing that I can say to somebody else that really helped me, guide me as I have been building and tending to community since I moved here, is just to stay in conversation and in relationship with the type of community that you believe is possible for yourself.
Speaker 2:So I think, in moments where you know I was maybe trying to make or forge a connection and it wasn't just wasn't firing or it wasn't working or it was mismatched or even maybe if there was something hurtful that happened, uh, when I first moved here, I just stayed in conversation and relationship and and honestly with communion, with the belief that, like I know, the community that I believe in is possible. And because I stay connected to that, that belief, I believe that it, you know it, grows around me and it takes a lot of like intentional tending to and, you know, like looking at and seeing what's connected and what's aligned and, you know giving help when I can give help and then also asking for help when I need it and and knowing that that's going to be reciprocal and keep going and coming back.
Speaker 1:How do they like? Are there any specific groups they can join? Or you know, or events that happen monthly, weekly space or creative spaces. Like you mentioned, a writing workshop. I mean, I'm not sure if it's open to anybody, but just for them to kind of get their foot in. I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's such a good question. I mean, yeah, the writing group that I'm a part of. It's not an open writing group, but I have seen a lot of workshops coming up, like at Vancouver Black Library, which would be great for creatives Couch Jams is they're yeah, they're great. I've only been once but they're great and I know that that's monthly, which is consistent, which is nice. I'm not sure if vancouver poetry house is gonna have their return, if they're they used to have a weekly slam but that has been stopped.
Speaker 2:but I also saw that it was like started back up last week. So there could be that and the Vines Art Society.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm a part of Vines Art Society and we offer a lot of various different free programming. There's not like a consistent like writers group per se, but there's a lot of different workshop activities. There's just like different events that happen at Vines. I think also for folks who are potentially like new to the city, and even if you're not new to the city but you're just looking to build um community and maybe community that's more deeply rooted in in art and in healing, um, I think sometimes, yeah, signing up for like volunteer things, like specifically with Vines Art Society or uh through my events or with VBL, can really uh help people get like deeply connected in a different way. Um, so many of the connections that, like I've made throughout my life is because I went as an individual.
Speaker 2:I either went to an event by myself because, you know it's, it really helps and I know that's how I met. You know it's like, I know it's scary out there people, but like go to an event by yourself, like if you're feeling called to do it, do it.
Speaker 1:or like volunteer by yourself, yeah, it's honestly, I used to be that person that was, um felt, deeply insecure about going places alone yeah, and I think um when covid came about, it really shifted my thinking because it's like I, I don't. To me, I'm like there's no reason to wait. You know, it's like I don't. To me, I'm like there's no reason to wait. You know, it's obviously beautiful to experience things with others, but there's a beauty in experiencing something magical on your own as well.
Speaker 1:And overcoming that fear is just the initial step. Once you do it one or two times, initially, you just get over yourself.
Speaker 1:It's an ego thing I think it's an ego thing for me. I can't speak personally for anybody else, but for me it was. It was an ego thing and insecurity thing. And once I got over myself and I'm like, hey, nobody cares, like nobody, most people aren't even paying attention to you for real. For real, like you can just go vibe on your own and the best thing about it is you're there on your own terms, you don't have to on your own, and the best thing about it is they are on your own terms, you don't have to wait for anybody, you can leave anytime you want and you don't have to, you know, accommodate other people.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:When you're out as a group or stuff like that, and you learn a lot about yourself. You learn to be more secure in yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And I guess less performative maybe, and perhaps a less people pleasing yes, um when you, I guess, do individual things for yourself, yeah, and I'm not saying encouraging being selfish. I'm just saying being selfless.
Speaker 2:I guess, yeah, and I think sometimes we, just like you know, we forget that, like ourself, just like, needs a minute, you know to be, to be singular sometimes. And I think the other thing that you know that we forget is it's really powerful to hold space for folks. I mean, it's part of the point of being alive and it's deeply powerful and healing to have space be held, have space held for us, and also it's deeply empowering when we can hold space for ourselves. And I think when you go and do something solo, you're like, oh, I just have me. You're not, you know, like you said, you're not accommodating, it's not people pleasing, you're just like really present in your own body, which is very, very powerful. So, and yeah, not to you know, know, not to minimize coming with your friends, like, please, this is for just someone who's like sitting at home waiting around for people to join them on their adventures.
Speaker 1:It's like yes, exactly, you can go and do it on your own if your friends want to come. Great, but even if they cancel, just keep, just come, because I think the main um theme. I was at a different event um last week for international women's month and it was for, uh, you know, the bipoc women's society and they're doing great work as well. It's led by two black, beautiful women and they bring people in community and hold space as well.
Speaker 1:But I think the common discussion that we had with the people there was that you know, vancouver can be a very hard city to connect with people.
Speaker 1:And a lot of people tend to get more isolated, staying at home, because they don't have a buddy to go with. You know, they don't have a girlfriend, a friend whatever to go out with. Girlfriend, a friend whatever, um, to go out with. So, uh, I think taking the first step as an individual can open up those doors, for you if you can just you know, be brave enough to step out um.
Speaker 1:It can be a beautiful thing and you can meet fantastic people like fanny yeah, yeah, exactly like yeah so I guess you touched about on, um healing, healing um, and I guess rest I think I guess that is an important theme in your work as well um I think you spoke earlier about having, um, I guess, disabled artists or people with illness, um, in this glimmers and uh docuseries, and also in your own community.
Speaker 1:I wonder if you can speak to that as a creative and taking care of yourself, um, and then navigating healing and illness as a Black individual in Vancouver, some of the amazing people you may have met, or support systems that people can access, and also some of the challenges. Perhaps Obviously there's challenges. Yeah, maybe you could speak to that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I have Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis and I was only diagnosed, actually, since I moved to Vancouver in 2023. So it's been an interesting yeah, it is recent. It's been an interesting journey. I've had health issues throughout my, throughout my twenties, but it really sort of uh, exploded in 2023. Uh, but I'm also extremely grateful, um, for the healthcare system in Vancouver, because I was actually finally diagnosed with Crohn's and that had likely been what was going on, um, before in my life. Um, yeah, there, there have definitely been some tricky things navigating the healthcare system. I think people don't realize how real racial biases are, specifically towards Black women, just like the denial of pain is something that.
Speaker 2:I experience quite often in the. Er Also just things like just not knowing how things present on other skin tones, like one of the symptoms that I've been struggling with a lot over the last 18 months was rashes and you know being in the er and having that examined and then there just being so much uncertainty around that um was has has been a very interesting experience and kind of shocking, to be honest, um, especially because then I'm gonna just say it I'm even a light-skinned black person, so I'm kind of like hello like what about?
Speaker 2:yeah, I guess it was in here darker, like what do you mean? You don't know because you've never seen this on black skin. You know um and unfortunately to yeah, just be met with um, met with homophobia a lot.
Speaker 2:Uh, just in the denial of my partner, is my partner yeah I guess the systemic yeah barriers that are there yeah, and I think you know it's just, it's surprise, it's surprising and it definitely every time just unsettles something within within a person, emotionally, and I think those are these moments when we turn more deeply to art, to these things that feel more restorative and joyful, like yes, you know to have an appointment like that and then be like okay, but we're gonna jam out with our friends later tonight you know it kind of recap, not kind of it does recalibrate the energy.
Speaker 2:You know it literally can change the course. Yeah, exactly, you know. Or there have been, yeah, there are moments where it's like something has not gone well at an appointment or there's been like bad medical news and it's like, okay, let's just sort of cancel the night and we're having a collage night in the apartments. You know, um, and I think the one beautiful thing about having folks around us who also live at the intersection of of disability is this flexibility and fluidity that exists within the relationships of being able to just switch things and flow with how people's bodies are working. You know like, and that has been a really beautiful thing, but it's like, okay, we don't have to, you know, do something strenuous, like we can be restful and still have it still be together and it'd be abundant.
Speaker 2:you know, like, yes, like we did some filming with Brandon the other day and we were like all like, oh, we're gonna go for dinner after, it'll be a cute date and all of this. And we were all exhausted and we're like, yeah, ordering food and sit on this couch and just like keep chatting. Yes, you know. Yeah it's just all of those things are, you know, like things that wouldn't necessarily work in other environments, like we've cancelled a whole day of filming before because we just like the bodies couldn't.
Speaker 2:But we have this faith and trust that we're like, okay, we will, as soon as we're better, like we'll reschedule it. You know, we'll get it um and just yeah, this beautiful understanding, and it's never like perceived as a lack of like work ethic or anything like that because there's this fluid understanding and it's like we, when our bodies can you know we do, and then we do what we can to our capacity. So I I got off on a tangent a little bit I'm sorry, no, no, I'm following everything you're saying.
Speaker 1:You're not on a tangent at all. I'm picking up what you're putting down. You know I'm, I'm, I'm thinking about it because, um, I think in relation to, I guess, people with disabilities and, in particular, to black people in terms of the history in North America, is that black people are not viewed as human or having emotion. And they are always, I guess, the proverbial workhorses.
Speaker 2:You know they literally built nations.
Speaker 1:I mean, look across the border so that empathy, that black people don't get tired. Black people are strong, black people can endure. And that's the narrative and we must push through and that's the theme that usually goes through most black people's experiences. There's no empathy or sympathy or support when they're going through illness, a disability or just general burnout and tiredness.
Speaker 1:You know there's no empathy with that and I think it's also internalized, where people have to show up all the time they feel like they have to show up and you having that understanding as a community that hey, today it's just not happening, and you having that understanding as a community that hey, today it's just not happening, and you hold space and there's no guilt with that, there's no guilt in resting, there's no guilt in admitting that today is not the day. Tomorrow may be a better day.
Speaker 1:And I think that accommodation, especially for people with different needs, is important. And when you were speaking about the health care system in Canada, I mean, obviously it's a hot topic right now. Yes, we won't get into that too much. But you know, I think, for me I had my own personal experience where I had to take a pause, obviously on the blog, last year because I was going through something quite serious still am, it's not it's, it's.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say it's resolved, but it's a it's a work in progress. It's a continuous work in progress and. I had. There's a period where I was in and out of the hospital. Tests, blood tests blood work, and this was my first time in my adult life where I'm dealing with a lot of these MRIs.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:You know the cost of health care the certain things that you know the wait times the like you were speaking to as a black, dark-skinned woman, woman, um, the way you're treated, I said in some regards, uh, where people may not take you seriously when you're in, uh, you know, when you come into the er and you're trying to be seen, you're trying to be heard or uh, just a simple thing is trying to draw blood.
Speaker 1:I, I kid you not, I went and at one point it took two or three people to draw my blood, because they're not used to taking blood from a dark-skinned black African woman or person, and you know these are the nuances and things that we go through as black people in the city and in North America and Canada as a whole, and I don't want to criticize the healthcare system because I know there's so many amazing individuals who are doing the best they can with the resources they have.
Speaker 1:And it could be worse. It could be that we don't have access to this and we would have to pay. But there are still some nuanced experiences as Black women and Black people.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I just thought I'd speak to that and be candid and vulnerable a little bit yeah, and and I appreciate that so much, ruby, and I just want to say, like I see you, you know, and, and the one thing that I'm feeling really called to say is we are, like, so lucky to have the health care system that we, and also I don't believe that that means that we shouldn't be able to critique it, you know, because, because these experiences that we have, they stay in our bodies, the healthcare practitioner, the several who couldn't take your blood, they don't think about that, they go on their day, they, they have forgotten that, they have forgotten that that ever happened, where that lives in your body.
Speaker 2:so I think that it's, you know, it's okay to to recognize our gratitude and to also say, hey, like this is where the system is falling short, and like where can we shorten up these shortcomings?
Speaker 2:Because it doesn't have to happen. You know, like and and for on the other side too, like I, I want, you know, I want people who are doing like really great at their job to like be able to share that more with, like their colleagues, as opposed to getting caught in these like systemic barriers and shortcomings. You know, so I, I, I, you know, I just felt, I felt called to say that because I do sometimes also feel the need, as a Black person who is navigating the health care system and sometimes does make a critique of it, you know, I feel I feel abundant gratitude and also I think it's okay to share, like when a situation was not okay, because I just want somebody else, if they experience that situation, to know that it wasn't okay and it's not about them, because I think that I used to internalize some of them being like oh I'm a burden or like.
Speaker 1:I'm like.
Speaker 2:I made this person's job hard.
Speaker 1:Harder. I know, you know.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, we are existing, like you know.
Speaker 1:I know I try to tell myself that I'm like what would a white woman do? You know they would cry, make a scene, you know they would, you know they don't have, they don't question their pain, I guess. But then I guess it's just a systemic, internalized thing that we're trying to break free of, but thank you. Thank you for seeing me.
Speaker 2:I do, I see you and I think too whenever I make like a critique to the healthcare system, and I always do like try and look at myself too and like the other thing that it's like deeply rooted within this. I think specifically as as black women, and with the denial of pain is like I sometimes deny myself my own pain like that I'm not honest with myself about how painful something is, so I'm like, okay, well okay, well, let's do it, we're playing it down, we play it down all the time all the time, so you know that's.
Speaker 2:You know, I try to do both work. I'm like, hey, if I'm going to call you out, I'll call myself out too. Yes, yeah, that's the other thing. I also think it's totally okay to just like do a call out when you're also willing to look at yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. Well, thank you. I mean, I think that was a very important conversation we had there and I really hope that some.
Speaker 2:I know that there's another Black woman out there who's going to be listening to this, who's having some sort of health issues, and so I just hope that hearing some of that feels like really empowering to stand up for what they need empowering to stand up for what they need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I think that that is a good place to to, I guess, wrap it up and, yeah, I guess, get into a final, I guess, word, uh on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Um, okay, so I guess I don't know if you want to tell people, just to give them a little short blurb on the show on March 27th at Performance Works at Granville Island. It starts at, I guess it says, doors 6 pm and there's many, many amazing people. So I don't know if they have any last words on the docuseries and the event coming up on the 27th.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just my last little plug is you're invited to the poetry and music show Glimmers March 27th. I think it's going to be such a beautiful, special evening of music and poetry. There's going to be a collaborative performance by myself, brandon and Adonis.
Speaker 2:We're debuting a three-way spoken word poem that has never been debuted before, and then we'll be heading into a collaborative jam with everybody, with King Folk Nation, with Josh Eastman, with Haley Sullivan, rowan Stone and Tula Van Damme, and it's just going to be an amazing, amazing evening. And I think, if, yeah, you're in vancouver and you're just looking for a connection and a beautiful night of community, I think you should come.
Speaker 1:it's gonna be great yes, and then when can they watch the docuses or?
Speaker 2:this is gonna be announced later yes, the the um final announcement of the docuseries will come soon. I know that it will be debuting sometime in late july, but stay tuned for an exact date.
Speaker 1:Stay tuned, I mean if it comes out, I'll definitely um post about it oh, thank you yes, I'll definitely post about it. Oh, thank you Ruby. Yes, I'll definitely post about it. So yeah, you guys check it out and then, if you want tickets, this is, I guess, an official announcement that we have event listings and a calendar on our website. Now on blackvanclubcom.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So Fanny's event is on therevanclubcom. Yeah, so fanny's event is on their glimmers. Uh, if you go on there, you'll see it and you can grab your tickets and uh see all the amazing things that they're doing. And uh, yeah, it was a pleasure having you. Um, it was a very candid uh conversation I think I got real vulnerable here. I haven't been this vulnerable on this platform, but I think that's good.
Speaker 1:I think that's because of you, um you sharing your story allowed me to open up a little bit about my story and hopefully one day I can share in full yeah, I hope so.
Speaker 2:I'm. I'm ready to listen whenever you're ready to share.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes. Well for those who are tuned in. Thank you again for tuning in to another episode of Black Van Club on the Mic podcast.